The Top 10 Things Staff Hate to Hear

Number 10:  But I thought my appointment was with the Senator

Never, ever indicate that you are disappointed to be meeting with a staff person.  On Capitol Hill, having a good relationship with a staff person can make or break your cause.

Number 9:  Here’s some reading material for you – our 300 page annual report

When meeting with a member of Congress or staff person, try to limit your leave-behind materials to one or two pages, and include details on where this information can be located on the Internet, if appropriate.  Offering the information in a file folder with your organization’s name on the label will also help ensure that the materials are put in a file drawer, as opposed to the round file.

Number 8:  How much of a campaign contribution did your boss get to vote against (or for) this bill?

Believe it or not, most staff have no idea who contributed to their boss’ campaigns.  Not only is this question insulting, but even if it were accurate, the staff person isn’t likely to know.

Number 7:  I assume you know all about HR 1234

With thousands of bills being introduced during each Congress, no staff person will be able to keep them all straight.  Always provide information on the bill title, number, and general provisions when communicating with a Congressional office.

Number 6:  No, I don’t have an appointment, but I promise I’ll only take ½ hour of your time

Unless it’s an emergency, or you are good friends with the staff person, try not to engage in the dreaded “stop-by”.  Most staff are happy to try to set up a meeting if you are relevant to the office (i.e., you are a constituent). 

Number 5:  No, I don’t really need anything specific

If you don’t ask for something, a bill cosponsorship, a congressional record statement, a meeting in the district, whatever, some staff will wonder why you came by.  Updates on your issue are fine, so long as they are accompanied by a request.  That will ensure that someone in the office thinks about you and your request for longer than 5 minutes.

Number 4:  We have ten (or more) people in our group

Congressional offices are tiny.  If you have more than 5 people in your group, you’ll be standing out in the hallway.  Plus, having so many people talking at once can dilute the impact of your message.  Try to limit your group to no more than 5 persons.

Number 3:  What you’re telling me can’t be right.  I heard (fill in name of talk show host) say otherwise

Most staff, or members for that matter, won’t lie to you.  They know that lying will get them in big trouble.  Sometimes, they may see things differently than you do, but if they say a bill definitely is not going to be considered on the floor, or if there is no such legislation, believe them.  A perfect example is a petition that was floating around the Internet about a House bill number 602P from a Congressman Schnell that would impose fees on use of e-mail.  There is no House bill 602P (that's not even a possible number), nor is there a Congressman Schnell. 

Number 2:  What do you mean we have to stand in the hall?

See number 4.  A request to meet in the hallway is simply an indication of space limitations.  Nothing else.

Number 1:  No, I don’t represent anyone from your district.  I just thought you’d be interested in what I have to say

Members are elected to represent their constituents.  Period.  If you are not their constituent, you are not relevant to them.  Some members do rise to higher positions, but that just means they represent the interest of other members, not the entire nation.  Your time is always best spent working with your own elected official and turning them into an advocate for your cause.